Next week I am going to California with my family. I
remember last year when I was packing to go to California.
It was about 11 months ago, I was feeling sooo down. I had
gained about 36 pounds from my lowest weight in the summer, therefore none of
my summer clothes fit. I had this plan from January 1st up until
February 21st where I thought I would lose 36 pounds.
I was going to go with the eat 1200 calories a day and train
for my half marathon. So basically burn double the calories I was put into my
body. That is starvation, which got me nowhere except for feeling even more
down about myself.
I remember trying on swimsuits from the summer. I was so
disgusted. Disappointed. Hurt. Ashamed. Man, I had so many different feelings
and they were all NEGATIVE.
In California you cannot hide from shorts, tank tops or
swimsuits. Ugh, the thought of a swimsuit made me want to cringe. I was only
going with my dad so I would not have a girlfriend/my sister there with me
(something about being with other girls makes me feel more comfortable in a
bathing suit).
It sucked. Big time. I remember trying to get a suntan with
my cover up still on and hiding under a towel.
I am saying this because the other day I came across these
pictures I took of myself while packing – I was in a bikini in one. I was in
shock! Not only did I look different physically but you can tell the pain in
someone’s face when they are not happy. Eventually I hope I can share these
pictures but right now I am not comfortable with that.
But I can promise you this: every time I put on my swimsuit
in California this go around I will be proud. Proud of the work I have put in,
proud of all my workouts, proud of how far I have come, proud of all the work I
have done with my nutrition, proud of myself for completing a marathon, proud
of myself for making the decision to move in the right direction.
EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
If you have not enter the giveaway to win this super cute tank do so HERE! Good luck.
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