Owning It

I have wanted to share something like this for awhile but it was not until a few weeks ago that someone found my blog and approached me about it. They did not say anything bad but I went into major panic mode and called Catherine immediately. She then checked me back into reality and I realized I needed to start owning my shit.

There are so many things in my life that I need to own. I think everyone has a few things that pop into their own head that they could own.

My biggest one is my weight loss: owning that I use to be unhealthy, but today I am a different person, stronger, healthier, more confident.

For some reason I do not like talking about my weight loss or if I do it can be awkward or embarrassing.

Often someone gives me a compliment and I just smile. I try to brush it off, brush it away. I am of course thankful and it means a lot to get a compliment but I can never own it. Or accept it.

When someone says, “you look great! You must feel great too.” I want to cringe of embarrassment.

Or the worst is when it is on social media (Facebook) – obviously people can see I have changed over the last two years, but when someone makes a POSITIVE or NICE comment I want to crawl in a hole.

Summer 2012 - I was celebrating my birthday with my
friends out of town. I was wearing a black maxi dress
and I remember looking back at the pictures and thinking
I looked so huge and chubby.

I am embarrassed that I use to look the way I did or make the choices I made (for example, would go get fast food after hockey then go home and eat dinner with my family OR go to Culvers and get TWO kids meals. Those burgers were so good). When I think about these times that I had where I was so weak, it makes me sad.

My blog is mainly a fitness and health blog with an occasional life post; however, something I really want to start doing is owning my past, present and future. You cannot go back and change something that happened five years ago, instead have that experience be a learning tool. I know it taught me so much and I learned a lot from it. I know that today if I make choices like I did in high school I would not be as happy or healthy as I am today.

This past week… Feeling very confident and
pretty in my glasses not a single drop of make up on
my face. When I was over weight I wore a lot of makeup and
would hide from tank tops.

A new goal is until the New Year I want to learn to love my past and OWN IT!

{I will be posting some November goals next week… I am a little behind}